Keeping Emotions tucked away leads to an unhealthy and unhappy you.

Emotional Constipation leads to Health Problems

When we don't allow ourselves to feel certain emotions, the emotional energy stays stuck in our systems. Stored emotional energy stagnates, creating build up and emotional toxicity. It is the emotional equivalent of constipation. For your gastro-intestinal system to function properly, it needs to have regular movements. Otherwise, constipation leads to all kinds of problems, like discomfort, headaches, irritability and eventually, a seriously toxic system. Similarly, the emotional system needs to have regular movements and releases, or it will also back up and toxify.

As emotional constipation blocks your system, it can lead to all kinds of problems from low energy and mild depression, to serious conditions and diseases like cancer.

Hidden Emotions and Addictions

When we push emotions down, they don't go away, they stay in our systems waiting to be expressed in some way. In order to keep pushing down what we feel, we often turn to numbing ourselves through some kind of addiction. We might numb ourselves with food, alcohol, sex, drugs, work, religion, etc. Potentially anything in the universe can be misused in order to avoid feeling our truth.

Hidden Emotions and Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

In order to deny certain emotions, you literally have to disconnect from parts of yourself. When you disconnect from your emotional truth, you also disconnect from your internal compass. Internally disconnected, you make choices that are not healthy for you. For example, you may form relationships with unsuitable people. Or, the people may be okay, but you form unhealthy ways of relating to them.

As you try to form relationships in your present life, hidden emotions can rise up to create constant roadblocks. Looking out through emotions stored in your own system, you see others through the lens of

old fears, old anger and old sadness

Then you try to play out these old emotions on someone new who is not actually the root cause of your emotional issues.

When we don't take responsibility for healing our emotional baggage, we expect too much of our relationships. We expect others to be more than loving and supportive.

Not taking responsibility for healing our own baggage, we demand our relationships become therapy to heal our past.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our relationships is to face and heal our own emotions. Also, one of the most powerful gifts we can give ourselves is to take a risk and find the courage to feel and heal...

If you or someone you know is in need of unlocking that emotion, please contact Sam or Jackie at Therapy for Life

Coping with a Crummy Christmas!

Along with all the hustle-bustle, shopping, preparation and festivities at Christmas, for many it can drum up memories of a negative childhood, reflections of lost loved ones, and a focused awareness of ones own lonely situation.

Throw in a dose of shortened darker days, which can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It’s no surprise many people end up wondering why they feel worse around this time of year. The expectation to be cheery and festive is possibly the exact opposite of what you are really feeling. 

“Does it help you to know... that’s normal?”

There are ways to beat it, but a tiny bit of motivation in the beginning is essential. Once you find a way through the initial part, your mind and body will feel better making it easier to help yourself.

"So what matters to you?"

 Is it friendship? Health? Family? Alone time?

First choose something that matters to you and pick a small activity to enable it.

For example:

Friendship: Ring a pal, and make a date for coffee

Family: pop round on the off chance

Health: start some walking in the evenings or treat yourself to some healthy smoothies.

Alone time: Pick a moment and promise yourself a treat already prepared.

If these are a little intense for you to manage right now, how about just initiating a conversation by texting someone a joke. Show them you are free and open to talk right now. Or just write down a list of realistic tasks to see if you could possibly choose to do one of them. You may not feel like it, but once you do, you’ll feel so much better.

It’s all about striking up a conversation with yourself, that might sound strange but often one of you becomes the logical, reasonable one, and that’s the one to listen to.

"Ask yourself, if your friend was feeling this low, what advice would you give them?"

This is often the best advice you could give to yourself whether its time to reach out to someone for company or help, or just to find some time to do something for yourself and feel human again.

If I were a betting lady, I’d say you read this, and then forget about it later, but tap into that logical side of you and seize the moment. If you are reading this and it has struck a chord,

it's no coincidence that you need a little help!

Some people help themselves with a few therapy sessions, and much of what is done is asking ‘open-ended questions’. An open-ended question is a question that requires a longer answer using your own knowledge or feelings.

But you can do this yourself if you feel unable to meet someone. All you need to do is write those answers down on paper. Reading your thoughts and feelings back to yourself is surprisingly revealing and informative.

Examples of good open-ended questions: 

• Why is this happening to me?
• How do I feel about that?
• Are there other ways to look at this?
• What would a friend say about this?
• How can I feel better?
• What things are bothering me and why?

You see these kinds of questions need some thought to answer, and it all comes from you. It stimulates a brainstorming session and writing it down means you don’t forget any of it. You can also come back to your brainstorming session at any point because it’s all written down.

This technique has another beneficial effect; it puts on paper what was buzzing around in your head and allows you to have permission to stop worrying about it. 

YES

Some people imagine the worries flying out of their head onto the paper as they write and it just gives their brain some breathing space. That breathing space might just enable you to focus on solutions later. 

"This is a fantastic technique if you have trouble sleeping."

Pop a pad and pen by your bed, and when you find your mind buzzing with thoughts and feelings... write them down and give yourself permission to review them in the morning NOT NOW... Now is sleep time.

So these are just a few skills you might find a therapist teaching a client.

I’m Sam, and I teach new skills to help people cope with life. If you fancy a boost to help you through Christmas, come and see me, you will be very welcomed.